A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
