call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
