For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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