he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
