Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
