Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
