Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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