I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
