the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
