i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
