the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
