girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
