great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he fucked my hip out of place.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
