Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
