How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
