I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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