you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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