Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
