community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
handjob tips. give me some.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
