A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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