I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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