lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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