Are we in a gay sports bar?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
