can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
