I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
