she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
