drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
