the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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