Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
