her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize