I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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