9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
do nipples grow back?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
