wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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