i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Actions speak louder than pants.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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