Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
as a side note pls kill me
You did what with his pubic hair?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize