Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
