Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
