I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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