I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
