He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
