You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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