My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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