piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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