Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
