okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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