u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
