I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
