Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
