boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize