Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize