Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
