Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize