So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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