I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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