Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
