Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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