living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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